The Search for Testicles - A Greek Tragedy

The trials and tribulations of the Boston Red Sox over the years have been likened to a Greek tragedy. Everyone thought the 2004 season ended that long running drama. Unfortunately, it looks like a new production has opened on Broadway this week with the the debut of "The Search for Testicles - The Story of the 2007 Red Sox."

The Red Sox came into New York with no pressure, having beaten up on the lesser lights in Chicago and Tampa Bay. They strolled in with an eight game lead with the idea that if they performed like a true champion, they could put an end to the Yankees and the AL East Race.

This was the week they would make a statement about what kind of team they were.

Well they made it. Of course it wasn't much of one. It was more like a whimper. And if you could hear it over the roar of the obnoxious New Yawk fans, the very high pitched voice said: "We are ball-less."

Of course, what would you expect from this souless bunch of human irrelevant statistics? Take your OBP, your soft .260 averages (hello there JD Drew) and all the other Jamesian numbers and they don't mean anything when the team rolls over like a beached whale the way the Sox have in ther first two games against the Bombers. Perhaps the more relevant statistic should be Sack Capacity (.000), Spine length (0' 0"), and Heart Size (o lbs 0 oz).

This is what you get when you eliminate all the players that have any will or ability to play tough baseball. Who is here to take the place of Johnny Damon who despite being banged up has managed to win the first game on a two run homer, knock in two more runs in game two and work both Dice-K and Josh Beckett during every at bat? Who is here to be the O-Cab spark? That's right, we couldn't sign him because of some whisperered "off field" issues. Who is even here to take the place of Kevin Millar, Trot Nixon, Bill Mueller, Pedro and even Derek Lowe who showed real gonads when everything was on the line.

The answer? No one.

Let's start with the vaunted Sox starting pitching, their big "advantage" over the Yanks. Dice K goes out and wets his knickers in the first inning to put his club down 2-0. Then he gives up home runs to Jeter and Damon (there's that name again) to lose the first game.

No big deal. So we drop the first game. We have the "Ace" going in Game Two. So what does Mr. Beckett come up with? (By the way, have you heard that Beckett can pitch in the big games because he beat New York in Yankee Stadium in the 2003 World Series?). So the big Texan proceeds to throw 400 pitches in the first two innings and gives up three runs with two outs on hits by ninth hitter Melky Cabrera (hey, he's no J D Drew but the Yanks like him) and Damon (Gee that names does keep popping up in BIG GAMES doesn't it?). Beckett also makes a throwing error, fails to cover first on a grounder and misplays a dribbler in front of the plate. Maybe he only comes up big in the World Series.

The most ironic statement came from Jerry Remy in the seventh when he was describing what a "gutsy" performance Beckett was giving. The words weren't even out of his mouth when ARod deposited the game winning homer into the bleachers. Oh by the way, that was the THIRTEENTH hit given up by Mr. Gutsy. (Hey did you hear that Beckett beat the Yankees to clinch the World Series in 2003 so he is not afraid to go in the big games?)

Of course it's hard to blame the pitching. Every Sox hurler knows that if they give up three runs the jig is just about up. Once an opponent amasses THAT many runs, well, it's just insurmountable.

Which brings us to the Popgun Patrol a.k.a the Sox offense. Stepping into the roiling caldron with NO PRESSURE, they promptly make the New York Chapter of the AARP (the Yankee starters) look like a combination of Cy Young, Walter Johnson and Roger Clemens.

On that's, right. That WAS Roger Clemens. It's a good thing WE didn't need Roger and he's washed up. Someone forgot to tell the Sox lineup that everyone has been working him deep in counts and beating up on him. Not us. Our superb .240 leadoff hitter lines out and grounds out twice in his first three at bats and sees a grand total of seven pitches. $36 million doesn't buy what it used to, as they say. Meanwhile, the Yankeess' leadoff hitter (Guess Who Johnny D?) sees five pitches in his FIRST at bat against Beckett.

The Sox then go hitless for six innings against the aging Rocket, who Mr. 38 Pitches announced that we don't need. Of course the Sox do make it close, "exploding" for a total of four hits, one of them a Kevin Youkilis homer. To no avail. That would be the extent of the offense. What can you do? You can't play the White Sox every day.

Boy I feel good now knowing that our great staff is so much better than the Yankee pitching. That "horrible" New York staff looks awful doesn't it? How can it possible stand up down the stretch. Heck, we racked that pitching for six runs and 11 hits in two games. We showed them.

So this was the the big playoff preview. The big test. If so, the Sox have flunked. Again. Just as they have all year when they face good teams. If this is the playoff preview, it's probably better that we find out now that this club is not ready for prime time. Amazingly, they will still probably win the division, thanks to a series of impressive beatings they will administer to the Devil Rays and Orioles.

But unfortunately fans, once the playoffs start, Baltimore won't be coming through that door. Tampa Bay will not be coming through that door. The White Sox will not be coming through that door.

No, it will be Seattle (Sox record against: 4-5). Los Angeles (6-4), Detroit (3-4), Yankees (7-8) or the Indians (5-2 Yea. Hope we play Cleveland!)

Now the only thing standing between an embarrassing three game sweep and Boston Massacre III is the Big Schill on Thursday. And I feel good about that. Schilling has demonstrated without question that he has heart and guts. Say what you will about him, he is a warrior, like the 45 year old in pinstripes who mesmerized the hapless Sox tonight. If Schill doesn't come up big tomorrow afternoon, it means he truly is at the end of the road. Unfortunately, he is going to have to pitch another near no hitter like he did in Oakland and hope for a 1-0 or 2-1 win since we can be sure the whiffle ball bats will be out in force again for the home town team.

So this reminds me of the time I was golfing and spraying balls everywhere and cursing and banging clubs. My buddy turned to me and said, "Hey don't get upset. You're not that good."

That's also good advice for following this Red Sox team. They're just not that good.

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All Quiet on the Western Front

It's that time of year, friends. We are less than twenty-four hours away from our first heaping helping of Yankees/Red Sox fall baseball, where playoff implications seem to hang on every pitch.

The Red Sox are up eight games with thirty-one to play, six of those thirty-one against the suddenly downtrodden Bombers. While the Red Sox joined me in the Big Apple this evening, the Yankees were badly bullied in Detroit, losing by over two touchdowns and sadly acknowledging that its time to euthanize the Moose. On Tuesday night, the Pinstripes will take the field fatigued from their beating and lower than they've been in months; the Olde Towne Team, on the other hand, are hitting their playoff stride at just the right time and have the pitching right now to give the '27 Yanks a tough series.

Pedro wanted us to dig up The Babe so he could drill him on the ass; however much I miss Petey's ownership of both the inside half of the plate and the title of "World's Most Intimidating 165-Pound Man," I think this group of Sox hurlers would prefer to paint the corners with the old masters of Old New York.

But sad news, Bronx denizens. Babe Ruth is not walking through that door, fans. Lou Gehrig is not walking through that door, and Waite Hoyt is not walking through that door. And if you expect them to walk through that door, they're going to be gray and old. And dead.

We get to see a group of Yankees who are watching their fan base flee for their New York Football Giants paraphernalia. True Red Sox fans are used to existing in an abusive relationship and can never really pull themselves away from the team until the final out, but Yanks fans are accustomed to winning. They don't like being eight games back, and each passing day renders their cry of "1978!" as irrelevant as "1918!"

And I think, if the Red Sox can do the right thing over the next couple of days, the fans will revolt. Pay close attention to the games over the next several nights; I'm willing to bet that the first crucial error or squandered opportunity will bring out the boo birds in the Bronx. Very few of these current Yankees have proven they can succeed when the pressure is on, and those that have are getting older by the day. Time is running out.

So let's go, Red Sox. Hammer more nails into that pinstriped coffin and put this season to bed. The time to strike is now.

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Do these Sox have the Killer Instinct?

The surging Sox have shaken out of their doldrums in the past week and appear to have broken out of their maddening mediocre three month run. They will go into New York for a crucial series with at least a 7 game lead. They have their foot on the throat of the Bombers and have a golden opportunity to finally choke the life out of a New York team that has refused to die. The question is, do the Sox have what it takes to finish the deal? Do they have the killer instinct to put this out of reach right now enroute to ending the ten year division title run of the Yankees?

The Sox have finished second to the Yankees nine of the last ten years and each year, they have played a crucial series with New York around this time of the season. The results have been not been good.

We all know the sad tale of the injury ravaged 2006 Sox. They were one and a half games back of the Yankees in mid-August heading into a five game series that would come to be known as Boston Massacre II. In a putrid display of baseball, the Sox coughed up all five games by a combined 49-26 count, and by the time the Yanks left town they enjoyed a 6 1/2 game lead and never looked back. The Sox went 18-25 down the stretch to finish in third place.

In 2005, the situation was eerily similar to this year. The Sox led the Yanks by four games heading into New York on September 10. The Sox lost the first game 8-4, took the middle game 9-2 and lost the rubber game 1-0. They left town up 3 games but proceeded to finish the year 13-10 while the Yanks finished a strong 17-6 to gain a division tie. They won the division on the strength of their head to head results with the Sox.

In 2004, the Sox headed into New York in mid-September 3 1/2 back. They took the first game 3-2, but got hammered in the next two 14-4 and 11-1. They left Gotham down 4 1/2 games and could never catch the Yanks from there. They finished 10-7, three games out of first place.

In 2003, the Sox were again 3 1/2 out on September 5 when they started a three game set in New York. This time they won the first two games 9-3 and 11-0 to cut the lead to 1 1/2, but dropped the finale 3-1 to leave town 2 1/2 down. They played 14-9 down the stretch while the Yankees went 17-7 and the Sox finished 6 games out of first.

In 2002, the Sox went into New York on Sept 3 trailing the Yankees by 6 1/2 games. If they were to make a move, this would be the time. They won the first game 8-4 to cut the lead to 5 1/2, but dropped the next two 4-2 and 3-1. They went 16-11 from there but the Yanks again finished strong at 19-6 to win the division by 10 1/2 games.

So if history is a guide, chances are one team will win two out of three this week. A sweep is unlikely either way. If the Yankees take the series, they will cut the lead to 6 or 7 and will still be breathing. If the Sox can take two, they will leave the Big Apple with an 8 or 9 game lead with 28 to play and will be one giant step closer to driving a stake through this vampire-like Yankee team.

The question to be answered: Is this the Red Sox team that came out of the gate like world beaters? The team we have seen in the past week? Or is it the meandering bunch that inhabilited Fenway for the better part of three months. They can make a definitive statement about what kind of team they really are this week.

Which will it be?

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A look into the past...

With the rainout tonight, I thought it would be fun to poke through some fun old newspaper columns I found while cleaning out the Condardo family attic this weekend...

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BOSTON, August 19 1955 - With wins in five of their last six games, the Boston Red Sox have secured their First Division standing and now rest only three and one-half games behind the American League leading New York Yankees. The Sox, riding the golden arm and 2.91 ERA of 25-year old Frank Sullivan and being led by the Splendid Splinter himself in the batters box, are in a position to make their postseason dreams become a reality for the first time since 1946.

Though optimism has been flowing freely throughout the Hub, not all denizens of the Red Sox universe are as high on the teams' future. A precocious two-year-old named Tommy Boston, despite having just learned to speak in the past six months, told our reporter today that "Sullivan is a never-was" and "Williams is a washed-up hack who went to Korea to run from left-handed pitching," and sincerely believes that Sox decision-maker Pinky Higgins "is leading this team straight to the bottom of the league." What a precocious little tyke!

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BOSTON, August 13, 1967 - With today's 3-2 loss at the hands of the California Angels, the Boston Red Sox have dropped 8 of their last 11 and find themselves in sole possession of fifth place in the American League.

Although the fervor surrounding these "Impossible Dream" Red Sox has instilled Hub residents with a home town pride not seen in these parts since the days of Smokey Joe Wood, not all the fans have been sold. Local high-schooler Thomas Boston informed our man-on-the-street that he believes this is "so typical" of this ballclub of "overpaid underachievers."

"This team is a joke," the boy continued. "Hey Yaz, why don't you put out that cigarette and try to get a hit in the clutch for a change? Its been happening all year and I'm sick of it. Look at yesterday's game - Sox down by 3 in the eighth with runners on 2nd and 3rd with two outs, and 'The Captain' grounds out to the second baseman. Disgraceful. When do the Bruins start?"

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BOSTON, August 14, 1975 - Tonight's 5-3 defeat at the hands of the California Angels has shrunk the Sox division lead to five and one-half games, and some northeastern baseball fans are finding that seperation a little too close for comfort.

"This team just isn't good enough to get it done," said local newspaper reporter T. I. Boston of the team that has been in first place since June. "Who is going to take responsibility for this abomination? Someone needs to answer for the production we're getting out of the left side of the infield; Petrocelli is hitting .239, and Burleson is at .252. Most years that would be okay, but with the corpse of Carl Yastrzemski hitting .269 on the other side of the diamond, we need as much production as we can muster.

And guess what, sports fans: Luis Tiant is toast. Anybody expecting anything from him other than his 4.02 ERA is going to be sorely disappointed. But hey, he has a nice mustache and a funny delivery, so let's give him a free pass. I'm nauseous."

---

BOSTON, August 29, 1986 - With post-season optimism waning in the wake of the Red Sox losing 5 of their last 6 games to trim the division lead to 3.5, local Sox fan Tom I. Boston may best capture the sentiments of the naysayers when he referred to the local nine as "a pack of choking [expletive deleted] dogs." When asked to expand on this comment, Mr. Boston shrugged, shook his head, and walked away. A remarkably intelligent and good looking three-year-old boy at Mr. Boston's side was heard to be babbling something about "oh-bee-pee" as the pair walked away.

---

BOSTON, August 21, 2007 - With tonight's 8-6 win in Tampa Bay, the Red Sox have stretched their division lead to a tidy 6 games on the eve of September baseball. Though a cautious optimism has pervaded Red Sox Nation at this late junction in the season, not all is quiet on the home front. Long-time Red Sox fan Tom In Boston was heard to imply today that general manager Theo Epstein has made enough poor decisions during his five years at the helm of the ballclub to warrant execution.

"Say what you will, but he's going to have to answer for Drew and Lugo!" Boston said of Epstein, who has watched the Red Sox run off an embarrasing 450-325 record during his tenure, puncuated with only three playoff appearances and one World Championship in four opportunities. "And Gagne too!" Mr. Boston added, neglecting to mention the appalling 3/$30m contract extension struck with Josh Beckett last summer, the perpetual $4m/season contract with Tim Wakefield, the 3/$15.5m Coco Crisp deal, or the 2/$2.5m Okajima agreement.

Also not mentioned were the contracts of Papelbon, Youkilis, Lester, Buchholz, Delcarmen, Ellsbury, or Pedroia, all of whom make less than half a million dollars this season as products of the Epstein-built farm system.

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Strictly Business

Theo Epstein continues to be haunted by the colossal $106 million blunder known as the J. D. Drew and Julio Lugo signings. If this pair of disappointments doesn't make a dramatic turnaround down the stretch, the following scene could be playing out in the Red Sox offices following the season.

Theo Epstein sat in the darkened office, his tie loosely hanging around his neck, his hair disheveled. He picked up the black rotary phone and began dialing. Slowly, quietly, the door to the room creaked open.

Moving deliberately into the room was Larry Lucchino, face devoid of emotion half hidden in the shadows. He wore a dark, pinstriped suit with matching vest, white shirt and a gray and black striped tied. A gray bowler hat with a black headband sat atop his head. Three menacing assistants crept in behind him.

Epstein turned from the phone, looked up into the passionless face of Lucchino, concern quickly spreading across his features. Lucchino paused and stared down at Epstein.

"You have to answer for Drew and Lugo, Theo," Lucchino intoned dispassionately.

Theo stared back, a look of horror taking hold. He got up and approached Lucchino. "Larry, you got it all wrong."

"You fingered Drew in the Dice K deal and you've always had a man-crush on Lugo for no apparent reason," Lucchino said cutting him off and moving closer toward Theo. "Ahh, that little farce you played with Boras to delay the Drew signing to make it look like we were covered. You think that could fool a Lucchino?"

The two men stood toe to toe now, Lucchino looking up into the taller, younger Theo's face.

"Larry, I'm innocent" Theo responded plaintively as one of Lucchino's assistants moved behind him. "I swear on all the kids in the minor league system."

Lucchino smirked and nodded, unconvinced. "Sit down," Lucchino said, pointing back at the couch.

Theo quickly sat down. Lucchino moved to the desk and took the chair from behind it. He lifted it and placed it next to Theo, who hunched on the couch, sweaty hands resting on his knees. Lucchino sat down, leaned toward Theo and stared at him once more.

"I've sold Drew back to the Dodgers, I've traded Lugo and I've barred Boras from these offices," Lucchino said menacingly. Theo started to sob, bringing his hand up to his face in shock. "Today I settled all Red Sox family business, so don't tell me you're innocent, Theo. Admit what you did."

Theo began crying harder now, his hand covering his face. Lucchino nodded toward the bar and said to one of his assistants. "Get him a drink."

Lucchino shifted and put his arm around Theo. He patted him softly on the back. "C'mon," he said. "Don't be afraid, Theo. C'mon. You think I would break John Henry's heart? I've been with you a long time, Theo. I brought you here from San Diego. I got you started in this business."

The assistant handed Theo the small glass of wine. Sobbing uncontrollably now, Theo took it.

"Go ahead," said Lucchino. "Drink. Drink. "

He took Theo's arm with the glass and lifted it to Epstein's lips. Theo took a long sip and put the glass down.

"No, Theo, you're out of the major league business," Lucchino said to Epstein as he continued to stair at the floor. "That's your punishment. You're finished. I'm putting you on a plane to Lancaster, California. You're going to be running the single A JetHawks."

He reached back and took an envelope from one of his assistants and handed it to Theo who took it and stared at it.

"I want you to stay there. Understand?" Lucchino said. Theo nodded quietly. "Only don't tell me you're innocent," he said evenly. "Because it insults my intelligence. It makes me very angry."

"Now who approached you," Lucchino asked. "Bill James or Allard Baird?"

Theo continued to stare at the floor. Slowly he raised his head. He cast his eyes down again, unable to meet Lucchino's hard gaze. He looked nervously over his shoulder at the assistants. He then turned to Lucchino.

"It was Bill James," Theo said finally, nodding his head.

The two men stared at each other for a long moment.

"Good," Lucchino said finally, barely audible. He took the glass from Theo and placed it on the table. He stood up, picked up the chair. "There's a car waiting for you outside to take you to the airport," he said placing the chair back under the desk. "I'll call your staff and tell them what flight you're on." He then stood facing Theo.

Epstein stood and made a conciliatory move toward Lucchino. "Larry, I..."

"Get out of my sight," Lucchino shot back, stopping him in his tracks.

Theo turned and walked back toward the door. One of the assistants met him and helped him into his coat. Theo took one last look at Lucchino and turned to go.

Outside, another assistant was placing Theo's luggage into the trunk of a limo. Slamming the trunk shut, the assistant moved to the side of the car and opened the front passenger door for Theo. As the assistant watched Epstein get into the car, a knowing smirk came over his face.

As he settled into his seat, Theo heard a voice from the back of the car.

"Hello, Theo." It was the distinct voice of Dr. Charles Steinberg, Lucchino's right hand man.

Lucchino had moved out of the office into the driveway and watched as the scene played out.

Moving quickly, Steinberg lunged from the back seat, put his hands over Theo's head and violently presented him with a pink slip, terminating his employment.

Theo gagged at this unexpected attack. He grabbed his own throat and began screaming, choking on his emotions. As the limo pulled away, Theo reared back in his seat and began kicking. As he kicked and squirmed, the glass of the front windshield shattered as Theo's feet burst through it. Then he sat silently. All emotion gone.

Lucchino, observing this final act stood silently. When it was over he began to walk slowly down through the parking lot, silent except for the crunch of his shoes across the pavement. He then moved away from the building, his assistants trailing behind.

Somewhere in the distance, a baleful trumpet solo played out ominously.

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This Week In Baseball

The lead is down to four with thirty-eight games remaining on the schedule. And although every one of these games will be critical to the season's final outcome, the next eleven days present an interesting series of challenges that could very well swing the East one way or the other.

For the next eight days, the Red Sox and the Yankees will be taking their respective shows on the road. The Sox have three in Tampa Bay (47-76) followed by four in Chicago (54-69); the Yankees draw three in Anaheim(72-51) and four in Detroit(67-57). On the ninth day, the Sox and the Pinstripes will meet up in the Bronx for a three-game set that will jump start the home stretch of the 2007 campaign.

And quite frankly, if the Sox haven't put this thing to bed by then, I'm not sure its going to happen.

After next week's showdown in the Bronx, the remainder of the Sox schedule features Baltimore seven times (3 home/4 away), Toronto six times (3/3), Tampa Bay six times (3/3), Minnesota four times (home), New York three times (home), and Oakland twice (home). The Yankees draw seven games with Toronto (4/3), six with Tampa Bay (3/3), six with Baltimore (3/3), three with Seattle (home), three with Kansas City (away), and three with Boston (away).

So where are the differences in this final month? The Sox will have an extra game at Baltimore (57-65) while the Yankees host the Blue Jays an extra night (63-60). Both face Tampa Bay six times. The Sox get four home games against the Twins (62-61) and two with Oakland (61-64) while the Yanks host Seattle for three (69-52) and pick up three wins in Kansas City (55-68). And of course, the two teams will share a three game set at the lyric little bandbox in Kenmore Square.

(Incidentally, I just realized the Royals are actually a game ahead of the White Sox right now. Ozzie Guillen should be proud. Who's a choker now, Ozzie?)

What does all this analysis mean? The two teams have a fairly even September, and it is an easy September at that. I expect both ballclubs to be causing some major structural damage throughout the league during this home stretch, and I would be stunned to see either suffer a losing streak of any length.

The fall schedule makes this next week even more important. This is the only time the Sox will have a distinct advantage in the schedule, and any games picked up here would be wonderfully accentuated by swiping two of three in the Bronx. If the glass tips in the other direction however, and the Yankees manage to pick up a game before next Tuesday, and then they have a good couple of nights playing at home...

Let's hope it doesn't get that far.

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Wily Mo? No!

Thankfully, the Wily Mo era has ended. The trade to the Nationals for a bag of balls and a gift certificate to Home Depot was the best Theo could do to unload his white elephant. I have been vocal most of the year that Wily Mo was not going to make it in Boston in the American League and needed to be shipped out. His play both at bat and in the field increasingly resembled someone trying to play the piano with boxing gloves on.

Many feel that the trade for Pena in exchange for Bronson Arroyo stands as Theo's biggest mistake to date. (We will have three or four more years to decide on the Lugo/Drew moves.) However, despite my whining about Wily Mo this year, I don't agree.

I was actually in favor of the move when Theo made it in the spring of 2006.

Hindsight is always 20/20, and the naysayers are now out in force frying Theo for the Wily Mo gamble. And make no mistake, it was a gamble. But when you look at the situation in early 2005, the move made sense.

Wily Mo had potential with a capital "P". He represented young, strong righthanded power, something the Sox had precious little of in the system at the time. They still don't have any as evidenced by their dogged pursuit of Jermaine Dye at the deadline and the signing of Bobby Kielty, who will never remind anyone of Manny Ramirez.

Theo saw an opportunity to perhaps "steal" a 23 year old who had already hit 51 homers in 302 games. Sure he struck out more than the Wild and Crazy guys on Saturday Night Live, but Theo felt confident that under the tutelage of Papa Jack and the influence of David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez he could develop some plate discipline and pummel the big green monster.

Unfortunately, none of it happened. He can't hit a breaking ball, which was transmitted around the league quickly and he could never get enough at bats to learn. Frankly I don't think he will ever get the hang of it, but in the fastball happy National League with the Nationals, he might actually flourish. The problem is going to be finding a position for him to play because he clearly is a terrible fielder.

Simply put, it just didn't work out.

But what did the Sox give up? The longer Bronson Arroyo has been away, and the more futilely Pena played, the greater the ability of the long haired pitchered continued to improve in people's minds. His red hot start in 2006 didn't help Theo's rep much either.

But the fact of the matter is that Arroyo was a fifth starter, especially in the American League, who by the time of the trade had been figured out by most teams, especially those in the AL East. Sure he would have been nice to have in 2005 when the wheels came off and the Sox were destroyed by injuries. But do you really think he would have made the difference and kept the Sox in contention? Not.

Let's look at the numbers. Arroyo started off roughly in 2004, but by the end of July, he sported an ERA of 4.08. He actually improved on that as the Sox captured the pennant and he ended the season with a 4.03 ERA. However, that was his peak. His downturn actually began in the 2004 postseason when he allowed 11 runs in 12.2 innings for a 7.82 ERA. His most notable effort was being on the receiving end of ARod's tomahawk chop in the ALCS.

Arroyo started 2005 well, sporting a 3.70 ERA at the end of April. But from there, it was straight downhill. Here are his month ending ERA's for the rest of 2005. May - 4.07, June 4.21, July 4.23, August 4.44, September 4.54. All his stats from 2004 to 2005 were negative. He allowed more hits 213-171, runs 116-99, HR's 22-17 and walks 54-47. He declined in strikeouts 142 -100 and wins 14-10.

He was clearly on the downslope. With the apparent pitching depth Theo had, the low cost Arroyo was the best chit he had. He took a shot. Big risk. Big reward. Didn't work out. But realisitically, if Arroyo had stayed in Boston, you would have been looking at a series of post-all star game Julian Tavarez starts. He was fast approaching the time when he would not be able to get AL hitters out.

And don't be fooled by his quick start in the watered down National League to start 2005. It took a while for the befuddled, feeble NL clubs to adjust to his hellacious curve ball. But after rushing out to an 8-2 record with a 2.31 ERA in June, Arroyo dipped a bit and finished 14-11 with a 3.29 ERA. Nice numbers. But he would not have come close to those in the AL East.

This year, as NL hitters have gotten used to him, Arroyo has crashed back to earth. As I write this, he sits at 5-13 with a 4.63 ERA. Care to imagine what those numbers would look like in the DH-populated, more talented American League? Yikes.

So Theo took a flyer. In reality, as much of a folk hero people want to make of Arroyo, it was really a case of nothing ventured, nothing gained. Too bad.

Good luck in Washington, Wily Mo.

P. S. - Despite GAGne's third meltdown, the Sox magic number is down to 36.

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The Fascination with J.D. Drew.

Somebody spot me here, because I'm going out on a limb.

I have a funny feeling that David Jonathan Drew is going to carry the Red Sox into the playoffs.

Everyone has been complaining about Theo's "great mistake," wondering how the Boy Wonder manages to hold on to a job when he signs stiffs like Drew instead of...instead of...well, it doesn't matter that no one else was available, Theo sucks!

And sure, Drew has underperformed, to say the least. Even with expectations tempered for the distant right fielder, no one could have predicted this degree of futility to last as long as it has. And anyone who says they did is right for the same reason as a broken clock - even the blind squirrel finds a nut, as they say.

But I have no doubt in my mind that Drew is going to turn this around, and my hope is for the revelation to happen sooner rather than later. Don't forget, friends, that this time last year Josh Beckett was slotted behind David Wells in the Sox rotation and was serving up so many homers that opponents regularly tipped him on their way around the bases. And for those of you that haven't noticed, he is in the lead pack for the Cy Young race and is clearly the stud of the staff at the moment.

Could Drew turn it around just as dramatically? I certainly think so. Let's just look at some stats over the course of the year and see if we can pick up any trends:

DURATION ________AVG____OBP____SLG____OPS.
Whole season____.261___.364___.390___.754
Last month______.282___.358___.408___.766
Last two weeks__.382___.462___.529___.991
Last week_______.444___.524___.611__1.135

Call me a stathead all you want, but I find these numbers to be quite encouraging.

And another thing: I am sick of all the rubbish I hear about Drew "not caring" about winning or losing. No one makes it this far playing a children's game professionally without carrying a level of competitiveness higher than any many of us have ever seen. Drew is animated - the dugout camera often catches him chatting up the guys up and down the bench. But he doesn't curse and throw bats and water coolers when he grounds out, so he doesn't care.

But in a pressure cooker like Boston, isn't that level-headedness even more important?

Hitting a baseball is not like sacking a quarterback, dunking a basketball in traffic, or even being a flamethrowing pitcher. I don't think anybody has ever hit better when they were angry. Riled or offended, of course - but that's just competition. Unchecked anger really has no place on a baseball field, and I don't think we should hold it against Drew that he keeps an even keel even in stormy seas.

Because guess what, sports fans: in September and October, the seas get quite stormy around these parts. And, in my estimation, J.D. Drew could be the navigator this team will so desperately need.

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At The Crossroads

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Confucius

When the 2007 season is over, I believe we will look back at the Lost Weekend of August 10-12 as the turning point of the season. The Sox have suffered through two devastating giveaway-losses that exposed the club's offensive impotency, head-up-their-butts baserunning, and shaky defense and showed the first cracks in a heretofore outstanding bullpen that Theo supposedly made stronger.

This could be the beginning of the end or simply a speed bump along the way to an exciting postseason. As we sit at the crossroads today, though, the question remains: Which way will this season now turn?

Watching the Sox play another life and death game against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays tonight has done little to assuage the pain of the Lost Weekend. Yes they won, but again, it was the same old story. Great pitching and no timely hitting and scary baserunning. (Julio "Loose Cannon" Lugo would have been thrown out at the plate in the first inning if the catcher had held on to the ball. Please tell me why that play was even close with Papi belting it to the deepest reaches of Fenway?)

Despite the ongoing frustration of watching this passionless bunch, I still think they are going to hold on to their lead and take the AL East. They can't play much worse then they have and they are heading into a much softer schedule and they still have that four game lead.

Last year at this time, the Sox and Yanks were in a virtual dead heat with New York one game up on the Sox with a 68-46 record to the Sox' 68-48 mark. From there, the Yanks went 29-19 to finish with 97 wins. The wheels fell off for the Red Sox from there, led by the five game sweep by the Yankees. With injuries piling up, the Sox went 18-28 in the last seven weeks and finished in third place with 86 wins.

That is not going to happen this year.

I have always preached to Kevin in New York and Corey in College that pitching wins championships. The Sox have the better pitching, GAGne notwithstanding. That will prove to be the difference in the end.

That said, here is one man's list of things that should be done in order to maintain the lead and capture their first AL East crown in 10 years.

1. Enough with the resting of the regulars. I have had my fill of Wily Mo and Eric Hinske, thank you very much. Tito has managed this team well to this point, making sure that everyone has gotten a blow along the way. They are rested enough. This team is not deep enough to have the regulars on the bench. Suck it up and play the last 44 games. Tonight's lineup should convince everyone of this. Lugo- Youk - Ortiz -Ramirez - Drew -Lowell -CORA -MIRABELLI -HINSKE! You're kidding me right? This is a potential World Championship Linuep? Yuk. It's time for the A-Team, all the time. Oh and by the way, Tito, when you want to get Cora in for a game, the guy you sit down is JULIO LUGO (.235), not rookie of the year candidate Dustin Pedroia (TEAM LEADING .326)!

2. Bring up Jacoby. This team might as well be playing in button down shirts for all the enthusiasm they are showing right now. They are playing with as much passion as tax auditors. They are dragging and they need a shot of adrenaline. That should come in the form of the speedster Mr. Ellsbury at Pawtucket who happens to be hitting .459 since coming back from his injury. Tell me he's not an upgrade from Pena or Hinske. Let's cut the crap and get this done NOW!

3. Back to basics. If you're going to win with pitching and defense and a popgun offense, you better have good pitching and defense and treasure each baserunner like gold. The pitching has been there (again pre-Gagne). But the Sox have been playing defense and running the bases as if they are blindfolded. Lugo blowing a sure double play ball and Drew kicking one away in the eighth on Friday are just the most recent examples. And the baserunning has been horrible. Ramirez simply is stupid or doesn't give a crap, either one is potentially fatal. And Luis Alicea may have to put a rope around Lugo to prevent him from getting picked off. (He has done that trick FIVE TIMES so far this year.) Tito doesn't knock his players in public, something I happen to agree with. However, hopefully behind closed doors he is reading them the riot act and explaining in loud detail that they have to get their collect heads out of their anal canals.

4. Let's not fix what isn't broken. Sean McAdam had it right on Sunday night. Tito should go back to Oki in the eighth and Paps in the ninth. Let Gagne work out the kinks in the seventh. If he resumes the form that brought him here in the first place, then we can look at giving him more important innings. Trying to force him into situations that were successful before he got here doesn't make sense.

5. Repeat after me, Tito, SMALL BALL. I said this weeks ago. This offense is anemic. It is not the slash and burn power line up of 2003 or 2004. This team scores runs as often as Youk combs his hair. Every run is precious. Sunday in Baltimore is a classic example. Runners on first and second, one out Hiske up. Pop Up. Runners on first and third no outs. Hinske, double play back to the pitcher. If he is going to make an out or two anyway, how about a sacrifice to move the runners along at least. As Kevin in New York points out, can Hinske even bunt. Hey, I know a kid in Pawtucket who could probably get it down. Might beat it out as well. See #2 above.

6. Let's playoff for the number five spot. As I've said before, we can't afford many more Jon Lester 400 pitch outings through five. Clay Bucholtz is coming up to pitch in one of the games Friday. Let's see how he does. Let this be a winner take all championship for the number five slot. Let's look at how Lester does against the Rays on Tuesday and compare that to how Clay does against the Angels. Better man wins. If Lester is not ready, he's not ready. No shame in that. Go back down and get ready. He has a long future ahead of him in a Sox uniform. It just may not be this season.

There you have it. The blueprint for success. Don't panic. They can do it. They just need to right the ship and play solid ball the rest of the way.

The Magic Number is now 41.

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"Gagne" is French for "Win"

I've always been a huge Eric Gagne fan, and I couldn't have been happier when the Sox spun two-month wonderkid Kason Gabbard for the big closer. If Gagne pitches to form, this trade could be viewed in years to come on a similar level to the 2004 trade deadline deals that defined Theo Epstein as a general manager.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do confess that Gagne falls into major man-crush territory for me and has since his breakout days in Los Angeles. How can you not love a hefty, bearded, bespectacled closer who screams after strikeouts and has a delightful French-Canadian accent and a last name that literally means "win?" Its impossible. Without even looking at his performance, Gagne is the kind of personality I love to see on the Red Sox.

After looking at his performance, or at least the level of performance we should expect, we should have no reservations about being downright giddy about the guy. Sure, he isn't the dominant flamethrower he was before his surgeries, but he is a guy who has icewater in his veins and a solid changeup to boot.

His performance since arriving in town, however, has risen some justifiable concern, culminating in his explosion in Baltimore on Friday night. This is a guy aquired to shut down the games once they hit the seventh inning, and he was unable to put away a marginally-talented Oriole team? This appearance does not auger well for his 2007 stretch run, and one can only hope he just had a bad night as opposed to something more troubling and long-term.

Whether Gagne's struggles are a result of injury, team transition, or general distaste for being a setup guy, he needs to right this ship quickly. The Sox are in the fortunate position of not needing him to be a savior - the bullpen was the strongest element of this ballclub before the move, and his addition was just icing on the cake - but a healthy and effective Gagne could absolutely be the difference between a dramatic pennant race and a hand-ride to the rail this season.

We already have one tally in the loss column from the big guy. Let's hope that's the only one.

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Sox Must Deal With Lester Problem

During Spring Training, when the "Jonathan Papelbon as starter" charade was still being played out, I strongly urged that Paps be returned to the back end of the bullpen where he belongs and that Jon Lester, who looked strong despite being only months removed from his recovery from cancer, should be inserted into the fifth spot in the rotation. Kevin in New York, quite correctly, argued that this was folly and argued that Lester was nowhere near ready for that. The Sox brass held that same view and the young lefthander was sent to the minors to work his way back to the big club.

With the disintegration of Julian Tavarez-as-starter, Lester was brought up last month to compete with Kasson Gabbard for the final spot in the rotation. With the trade of Gabbard, Lester now owns that final number five spot. There is only one problem.

Lester is still not ready.

There is no questioning Lester's courage in coming back from the lymphona that attacked him last year. He has worked hard to get another shot in the majors. Unfortunately, the results have not been there. Even though the lefthander is 1-0, he sports a 6.43 ERA and is heading in the wrong direction.

He can't get ahead of hitters and as evidenced in his start at Anaheim, he has become eminently hittable. He is fooling no one. His inability to throw strikes has resulted in some ungodly pitches per innings averages. In his first start, he averaged 16 pitches per inning. It stayed about the same in his second outing at 15.6. It went to 19.8 pitches per inning against Seattle and soared to 30 pitches per inning against the Angels. Overall, in four starts he is averaging 18.5 pitches per inning.

You might say that he is not yet in shape and should improve. Again, there is no evidence that this is the case. Last season, he displayed the same frustrating tendency to throw too many pitches. In June of last year he averaged 19.8 PPI. He reduced it to 16.5 in July but zoomed back up to 21 PPI in August before he was shut down after his illness was diagnosed. His 2006 average? 18.6 pitches per inning.

Sound familiar?

This could be a case of a young pitcher learning to pitch compounded by a serious illness. If so, he will improve and could be a solid major league starter. If not, it could also simply be a case of a pitcher who will always be what he is. Not ready for prime time. A Brian Rose or Jeff Sellers or Tony Armas Jr. Guys who projected to be major league players, but who just never made it. What Bill Parcells used to call a J.A.G. - Just Another Guy. That happens.

What is clear is that a decision must soon be made about the number five slot. Tito cannot ccontinue to run out a five inning pitcher every fifth day and risk burning out the bullpen. He may have to look to someone else to jump into the rotation. But what do the Sox do now as they prepare for the stretch drive in a pennant race? Sadly, they don't have many options.

If they want to stay at the major league level, they can flip Lester with Kyle Snyder. Snyder has major league experience as a starter. He currently sports a 2.91 ERA and has given up only two runs in his last appearances. He has been solid and might work in the number five spot. Lester could then go into the long relief role and perhaps find a groove. They could go back to Julian Tavarez but I think we've seen enough of that movie.

If the Sox elect to dip into the minors, the pickings aren't very robust. David Pauley and Devern Hansack both have major league experience, but have been unimpressive recently pitching for the Pawsox. Pauley is 0-2 in his last four starts, giving up 28 hits and 10 runs in 23 innings pitched for an ERA of 3.91. Hansack has been worse. In his last four starts, Hansack is 2-1 allowing 22 hits and 11 runs in 22 innings pitched for a 4.50 ERA.

Big righthander Mike Burns has been better. The 6' 1" 210 pounder is 1-0 in his last three starts allowing only11 hits and 3 runs in 20.2 innings for an ERA of 1.34.

But the most impressive starter at Pawtucker recently has been the phenom, Clay Bucholtz. In his last three starts, all no decisions, Bucholtz has allowed only 12 hits and 5 earned runs for a 2.60 ERA with 25 strikeouts and 4 walks.. In his last two starts he has pitched 13.1 innings and struck out 18 while walking NONE. ZERO.

It would be quite a risk for the Sox to bring up a young pitcher who started the year at Double A and throw him into the middle of a pennant race, but they did it with Papelbon two years ago and Lester last year. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Now is the time.

Bring on Bucholtz.

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Patience wears thin

Its a marathon, not a sprint.

That's what I keep telling myself, but losing these games in such devestating and embarassing fashion night after night makes me want to go ahead and run right off a cliff here at the proverbial 18-mile marker.

Maybe its just that this particular team is skilled at losing in spectacular fashion. They went through a stretch earlier this summer where they lost a lot of games where they would fall behind and subsequently be unable to put together any offense. The new script for late-summer sweeps features total disasters for the home town team on a nightly basis. As a particularly gut-wrenching counterpoint, the Yankees seem to have scored well over 750 runs over the course of their current 26-game win streak.

Unlike my father, I don't get angry during these streaks. Maybe its because I'm younger, or maybe its because my mother probably would have moved out of the house if both he and I reacted that way to summer Sox swoons. In an effort to complement his external outbursts, I cultivated a more introverted, throbbing frustration that sits on my shoulders like the burden that it is. These traditional August West Coast trips, which are almost always disasterous, tend to team with the paralyzing humidity to make me completely useless for the better part of at least a week. And that's where I am right now.

Perhaps we should take some solace in the fact that we did in fact take two of three in Seattle? Or that our next five series leading to a climactic end-of-summer showdown with the Pinstripes are with Baltimore - Tampa Bay - Los Angeles - Tampa Bay - Chicago? Or that, even if we choke on the rest of tonight's game and lose tomorrow by 15 runs, we'll still wake up on Thursday with the best record in major league baseball?

No, I don't have the optimism in me right now. This type of loss, in this type of weather, has taken the fight out of me. The Yankees will be within five when we wake up, and its completely possible they could overtake us by the time we visit the Bronx.

I hope they wake up before then. I'll be counting down the days until September.

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Keep On Comin' Yanks - Please Make It Close

Seeing how emotional I am regarding the Red Sox, you would think that the fact that in the last month, the Yankees have played .733 ball versus the Sox .555 and have chopped 4.5 games off what once was a double digit lead for the Sox in the AL East lead would be causing me to go mental. Yes, I realize the Bombers have fattened up on a ridiculously cupcake schedule and have made their run largely by going 16-6 against the Devil Rays, Royals, White Sox and Blue Jays. The fact remains, we can see them clearly in our rear view mirror and they are certainly larger than they appear.

However, I am strangely calm. I actually am happy that the Yankees are coming on like a freight train. In fact, I believe that tightening the race further is actually a good thing. As a matter of fact, before this is over, I hope the race comes down to the final week.

Have I lost my mind? Not at all. I've just checked out the numbers. (Which Kevin from New York keeps telling me is the proper way to analyze baseball.)

The ultimate goal here is a World Championship, correct? An AL East title would be nice, and we certainly want that first round Fenway Park advantage, but what we really want is another Duck Boat Parade and a cruise through the 365 Bay State cities and towns with a matching World Series Trophy.

That being the case, we all should be rooting for a death-defying, dog-eat-dog, right to the wire battle for the AL East crown with the hated Yankees.

I've checked out the margins of victory in division races since 2000 and identifed the team in each league that ended the season with the largest division race margins. (There are fifteen teams for the seven seasons since there was one tie). The numbers are irrefutable. The larger the margin of victory in the division, the less the chances of taking home a World Series title.

Of those 15 teams, six lost in the first round League Division Series (LDS). Six lost in the League Championship Series (LCS). Only three made it to the World Series and only one captured the championship. And that one posted the SLIMMEST margin of victory in their division race of all 15 teams.

There is also a correlation between the size of a Division Race victory and how early the teams have exited the playoffs. Of the 15 teams, the average margin of victory for those teams that lost the LDS, the FIRST ROUND, was 11.5 games. The number for losing the LCS was 10 games. Those teams that made the World Series had division margins of 9.5 games. And as mentioned, the team that had the tightest division race of the 15, the 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks, won the division by only two games and went on to take it all.

Let's look as some of the first round flops.

The two teams with the largest division margins of victory, Atlanta in 2002 who won the NL East by 19 Games and the 2003 Giants, who won the NL West by 15.5 games, both lost in the opening round of the playoffs. The Braves lost 3-2 but the Giants managed only one win in losing 3 games to one.

Other first round losers included the 2006 Yankees (won AL East by 10 games, lost 3-1 in first round), 2004 Minnesota (won AL Central by 9 games, lost ALDS 3-1), 2000 SF (won NL West by 11 games, lost NLDS 3-1) and 2000 Chicago White Sox (Won AL Central by 5 games, lost ALDS 3-0).

So to recap. 40% of the teams that ended up with their league's largest division race victories, went down in the first round. And only one of them managed to win MORE THAN ONE GAME in the series.

Some great regular season teams also never made it past the LCS. In 2001, Seattle won 116 games and their division by 14, but managed only one victory in the ALCS, bowing out 4-1. The 2002 Twins won 94 games but captured the dreadful division by 13.5, but lost in the ALCS 4-1. The 2006 Mets won 97 games and their division by seven, but came up short 4-3 in the NLCS. The 2005 Angels (95 wins, won division by seven), 2005 Cardinals (100 wins, won division by 11), Atlanta (won 92 games and division by 2) also all dropped out by losing the LCS.

The 2004 Cardinals won 105 games and their division by 13, but I think we all remember what happened once they made it to the World Series . Can you say broomed?

The 2003 Grady Little-propelled New York Yankees won 101 games, took the AL East by 6 and lucked into the World Series before suffering their just fate at the hands of Josh Beckett and the Marlins in a seven game series loss.

So the message is clear. We don't want a division race runaway. We don't want a leisurely romp to the division championship. History shows us that this is a road to ruin. No matter what a manager might do, that type of victory clearly dulls the edge of the best of teams.

What we need is for the Yankees to scare the absolute bejesus out of the Sox and its fans. Make them keep their edge. Understand that it is life and death every night. Make us chew our fingernails to the knuckles. Keep looking over our shoulders for the lurking Bombers. Just like this weekend. Before every game against a solid Seattle team, the Sox went in knowing the Yanks had again bludgeoned the hapless Royals and they needed a win to maintain their lead. That is excellent pressure for them. It will keep them sharp. The result? The Sox took two out of three from a Mariner team that has dominated them. That type of perfomance, and pressure from the Yankees, will steel us for the playoffs.

A former professor of mine once said that the only tension-free environment is six feet under. Tension and stress are good. It will keep the Sox playing hard and get them ready for the post season cauldron.

It may not be the best thing for the collective nerves of Red Sox Nation, but it will prove to be the best medicine for a successful post season for the Sox. So come on Yankees (gulp), keep it up.

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Thunder, Lighting, and Red Sox Baseball

Just as the smell of freshly cut grass signals the start of a new season and the foliage marks the end, the trade deadline and the dog days of summer are best punctuated by torrential downpours and lightning illuminating the sky. And even now, nothing takes me back to my childhood more quickly than listening to baseball on the radio during a sweltering August thunderstorm.

A lot of Boston natives loathe these West Coast games and their unnatural 10pm start times, and I dislike many elements of them as well. Especially devestating are those games that fall in the middle of the week and require your full attention - I've never seen a Wednesday work day ruined more completely than by an extra-innings loss in Oakland on Tuesday night. Especially after a hundred games, our weeknights have been set like clockwork - get home from work, change clothes, grab some dinner, and pull up a chair for the seven o'clock game. West Coast trips take both players and fans out of their comfort zones.

But a quiet little corner of my mind has always loved these games, because they bring me back to as far back as I can remember. Tucked into bed, with my pillows lined up to see directly out of my bedroom window and into the illuminated night sky, as Castiglione and Trupiano kept us informed of what our boys were doing over three thousand miles away. I don't think the radio in my bedroom was ever used for anything other than these specific games.

I assumed this exact same position for a Roger Clemens, Pedro Martinez, and Curt Schilling. I listened to the count get worked by Wade Boggs, Bill Mueller, and Kevin Youkilis. Even as I moved to college and then New York, I always kept this tradition - when the thunder clapped, I turned off the television and went to the radio.

So when it started to trickle this evening around eight, I had a feeling what I was in for. Sure, the romance of those suburban nights are gone - instead of an old-fashioned radio I'm streaming the radio feed on mlb.tv, and instead of a clear suburban night I have a fine view of a giant railroad upright while car alarms whine up and down the street - but the principal is the same.

Across the continent, Jon Lester is digging in. And I'm taking a nice long stroll down memory lane with my umbrella and a transistor radio.

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Slumbering Sox Need Awakening - Cowboy Up Two?

Yes, they won last night. Yes, they got Eric Gagne and the Yankmees didn't. Yes, Curt Schilling looks healed and ready for the stretch drive. Yes, they sport all those wonderful stats that Kevin in New York can rattle off so impressively.

But as true as all those things are, there is no denying that there is something missing from this team.

Call it heart. Call it drive. Call it whatever you like, but this Sox team is in dire need of it. With everything they have going for it, the Sox should not be in a life and death struggle to split two games with the Orioles, no matter how well they are playing lately. Be honest, once they fell behind 3-0 Wednesday night, how confident were you that they would come back? Once the opposition gets to 3 or 4 runs, you can almost pack it in. That simply should not be happening.

They have been wasting great outings from Josh Beckett and Dice K. They left another 11 men on base Wednesday night. And it's not just the fact that Manny hit into a double play and popped up on first pitches with runners in scoring position. Or that Wily Mo is as useless as a screen door on a submarine. (By the way, I love Tito, but why wasn't Eric Hinske in the lineup against a right hander instead of the Human Automatic Out? Was that Tito thanking Theo for getting him Gagne?) And it's not just that the Julian Tavarez-as-starter is obviously over. There is something more missing from this club.

You may laugh at it, but what I think they are missing is Kevin Millar. Okay, Kevin in New York, get up off the floor. Who else is going to shake this team out of its slumber?

This team has great character guys as leaders. Tek, Papi, Lowell are all revered father figures. Youk is the serious student of the game. Lugo might have the spark but he doesn't have the numbers to back it up yet. Manny? Pullease. Drew is bloodless and ineffective. Crisp is coming along from a performance perspective, but is afraid of his own shadow off the field. Pedroia can be the guy, but is too young to really take over a team yet.

In my last post, I compared the 2004 team to this year's team. Strictly by the numbers the 2007 team is BETTER! But they lack that intangible leader. That crazy big brother that will shake you up when you need it. They need a Johnny Damon or a Kevin Millar, and there is currently no one who fits the bill on the roster. Do not underestimate what those two meant to the championship run. Millar is goofy, crazy, media hog who can be a loose cannon and that is exactly what the 2007 Boston Red Sox need.

They can't get Damon, but they certainly could get Millar. Who would block a Pena for Millar waiver deal? Even the Yankees wouldn't bite on that one. And if they did, they could keep Pena and let him make a fool of himself in Yankee Stadium.

But there is more than just intangibles. Millar happens to be a better PLAYER than Wily Mo right now. Look at the NUMBERS. Millar is hitting .273 with a .386 OBP and a .444 slugging percentage. He can play first and he is a better right fielder than Pena, who continues to play the position like he is on roller skates.

So it's time to Cowboy Up Again! Or shoot some Jack Daniels. Or dye some hair. Or drag Manny into an interview. Or deliver a bag of dung to Tito. Or whatever. Millar will loosen them up. And make no mistake, the Sox, who are playing as if they are wearing tuxedoes, badly need loosening up.

Bring on Millar! Why not us?

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