A look into the past...

With the rainout tonight, I thought it would be fun to poke through some fun old newspaper columns I found while cleaning out the Condardo family attic this weekend...

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BOSTON, August 19 1955 - With wins in five of their last six games, the Boston Red Sox have secured their First Division standing and now rest only three and one-half games behind the American League leading New York Yankees. The Sox, riding the golden arm and 2.91 ERA of 25-year old Frank Sullivan and being led by the Splendid Splinter himself in the batters box, are in a position to make their postseason dreams become a reality for the first time since 1946.

Though optimism has been flowing freely throughout the Hub, not all denizens of the Red Sox universe are as high on the teams' future. A precocious two-year-old named Tommy Boston, despite having just learned to speak in the past six months, told our reporter today that "Sullivan is a never-was" and "Williams is a washed-up hack who went to Korea to run from left-handed pitching," and sincerely believes that Sox decision-maker Pinky Higgins "is leading this team straight to the bottom of the league." What a precocious little tyke!

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BOSTON, August 13, 1967 - With today's 3-2 loss at the hands of the California Angels, the Boston Red Sox have dropped 8 of their last 11 and find themselves in sole possession of fifth place in the American League.

Although the fervor surrounding these "Impossible Dream" Red Sox has instilled Hub residents with a home town pride not seen in these parts since the days of Smokey Joe Wood, not all the fans have been sold. Local high-schooler Thomas Boston informed our man-on-the-street that he believes this is "so typical" of this ballclub of "overpaid underachievers."

"This team is a joke," the boy continued. "Hey Yaz, why don't you put out that cigarette and try to get a hit in the clutch for a change? Its been happening all year and I'm sick of it. Look at yesterday's game - Sox down by 3 in the eighth with runners on 2nd and 3rd with two outs, and 'The Captain' grounds out to the second baseman. Disgraceful. When do the Bruins start?"

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BOSTON, August 14, 1975 - Tonight's 5-3 defeat at the hands of the California Angels has shrunk the Sox division lead to five and one-half games, and some northeastern baseball fans are finding that seperation a little too close for comfort.

"This team just isn't good enough to get it done," said local newspaper reporter T. I. Boston of the team that has been in first place since June. "Who is going to take responsibility for this abomination? Someone needs to answer for the production we're getting out of the left side of the infield; Petrocelli is hitting .239, and Burleson is at .252. Most years that would be okay, but with the corpse of Carl Yastrzemski hitting .269 on the other side of the diamond, we need as much production as we can muster.

And guess what, sports fans: Luis Tiant is toast. Anybody expecting anything from him other than his 4.02 ERA is going to be sorely disappointed. But hey, he has a nice mustache and a funny delivery, so let's give him a free pass. I'm nauseous."

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BOSTON, August 29, 1986 - With post-season optimism waning in the wake of the Red Sox losing 5 of their last 6 games to trim the division lead to 3.5, local Sox fan Tom I. Boston may best capture the sentiments of the naysayers when he referred to the local nine as "a pack of choking [expletive deleted] dogs." When asked to expand on this comment, Mr. Boston shrugged, shook his head, and walked away. A remarkably intelligent and good looking three-year-old boy at Mr. Boston's side was heard to be babbling something about "oh-bee-pee" as the pair walked away.

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BOSTON, August 21, 2007 - With tonight's 8-6 win in Tampa Bay, the Red Sox have stretched their division lead to a tidy 6 games on the eve of September baseball. Though a cautious optimism has pervaded Red Sox Nation at this late junction in the season, not all is quiet on the home front. Long-time Red Sox fan Tom In Boston was heard to imply today that general manager Theo Epstein has made enough poor decisions during his five years at the helm of the ballclub to warrant execution.

"Say what you will, but he's going to have to answer for Drew and Lugo!" Boston said of Epstein, who has watched the Red Sox run off an embarrasing 450-325 record during his tenure, puncuated with only three playoff appearances and one World Championship in four opportunities. "And Gagne too!" Mr. Boston added, neglecting to mention the appalling 3/$30m contract extension struck with Josh Beckett last summer, the perpetual $4m/season contract with Tim Wakefield, the 3/$15.5m Coco Crisp deal, or the 2/$2.5m Okajima agreement.

Also not mentioned were the contracts of Papelbon, Youkilis, Lester, Buchholz, Delcarmen, Ellsbury, or Pedroia, all of whom make less than half a million dollars this season as products of the Epstein-built farm system.