Hot Stove, Cool Music, Dead Team

I think we have a priority problem in Red Sox Nation.

Sox GM Theo Epstein is busy finalizing plans for his Hot Stove, Cool Music concert at Fenway in August. The way his Dead Sox are playing lately, he may want to start the event with a funeral dirge. Theo created this mess and he needs to answer for it.

But there is a reason he isn't spending any time trying to fix this dysfunctional bunch. Thanks to his mismanagement, there is really nothing he can do but strum his guitar and pray.

I don't want to panic, but I do want to be realistic. The Sox are in trouble which becomes more painfully obvious as their lead keeps getting chopped down game by game, like the drops of a Chinese Water Torture.

The Big Tuna, who spent some time down in Foxboro, used to say that you are what your record says you are. Since June 1, the Sox are 20-21, which spells mediocrity with a capital "M."
The Sox are lifeless and stagnant, treading water. With last night's pathetic loss, they have now lost 4 of 7 on this "easy" homestand. They don't have the ability, desire or fire to take advantage of a cupcake July schedule top heavy with home games and sub-.500 opponents. This malaise has allowed the Yankees to crawl out of the crypt and right back into the AL East race.

And the big problem is, the quagmire that Theo has created can not be easily cleaned up.

In 2004, the Sox were floundering in similar fashion at this time of the year. Theo was able to shake things up by trading a brooding Nomar Garciapparra and acquiring Orlando Cabrera, Doug Mientkiewicz and Dave Roberts. However, the way Theo has built this 2007 Edsel, such a bold stroke is not an option.

Everyone agrees that the light hitting, powerless lineup is in need of another bat. But where would you put it?

You're not going to replace Papi, Manny or Varitek. Youkilis, Lowell and Pedoria are your biggest producers so far. Crisp is starting to come on. That leaves the two biggest problems in Lugo (fly ball out with two down and the tieing run on third in the eighth last night) and Drew (harmless ground ball to lead off another fruitless ninth last night). Let's call them Theo's $106 million mistake. Theo will not bring in someone to replace either one of his prized offseason acquisitions. He also seems reluctant to admit what is obvious to everyone , that Wily Mo Pena can't play a lick. And Mirabelli, Wakefield's binky, couldn't hit the ground if he dropped his bat. (As a thought, can they DH for Mirabelli and let Wake hit for himself?)

So much for improving the lineup.

As for the pitching, the Julian Tavarez run clearly is at an end after four putrid performances in a row. Wake is a Jekyll and Hyde and the team desperately needs Schilling back. The relief corps has been a shining light, but when you lose two of three to the Kansas City "AAA" Royals you don't get to use your outstanding middle relief and closer.

So what is Rock Star Theo to do? Maybe get a veteran bat and dump Pena once and for all and perhaps another starter. Either one will cost too much and would probably be a bad move.

So Theo can just sit back, plan his big Rock Concert and do the following:

Pray for Schilling's return.

Hope Lowell and Youk don't fade in the second half as they did last year.

Have faith that Manny and Papi and JD Drew get hot.

Pray that Pedroia doesn't hit the rookie wall.

Say a novena that Beckett, Varitek, Papelbon, Okajima stay healthy.

Tito can shift the batting order around, but that may be akin to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titantic. I know, I can hear you now. "Hey they still have a (insert steadily decreasing single digit number here) game lead.

The fact of the matter is that this is Theo's baby, lock stock and pathetic barrel. He went crying in a gorilla suit to John Henry wanting complete control of the baseball operation and to make the big, bad Larry Lucchino stop questioning his decisions. Well he got his wish. And this is the monstronsity he has constructed. The largest payroll in the history of the Sox that has an on base percentage that will knock your socks off but who can't hit in the clutch or with runners in scoring position to save their lives.

Theo owns this disaster. He will live and die with it. Let's hope it's not the latter.